apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
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