I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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