im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Randomize
