Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
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