woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
