Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
