Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
pop tarts are not kleenex
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Randomize
