Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
What happened to fro yo and sex?
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
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