I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
