dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Randomize
