any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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