I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
