We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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