i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
