he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
she peed on how many people?
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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