He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
