please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Randomize
