I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
My vagina just clenched in fear
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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