how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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