i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Randomize
