Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
Randomize
