honey bunches of taint.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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