brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I don't want my vagina anymore.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
