I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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