normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
