You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Randomize
