I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
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