Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Randomize
