you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
