six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
