They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Randomize
