How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Randomize
