i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Randomize
