Your tits are I can't wait for
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
