she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Randomize
