And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
