You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
