so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
Randomize
