Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Randomize
