we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
