I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
