Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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