True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
