i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
