when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
