ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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