The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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