Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
You pole danced in your parka.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
