Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
