whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
