i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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